Today in my inbox I found a link to an interesting opinion and response article on Forbes. Here is an excerpt:
Guys: a word of advice. Marry pretty women or ugly ones. Short ones or tall ones. Blondes or brunettes. Just, whatever you do, don’t marry a woman with a career.
So what is my take on the article? Well, while I plan on marrying a career woman, and could never see myself with a pretty housewife, I think he presents a strong argument.
I know the majority of my male friends think about some of the items mentioned (does she make more? will someone be home to watch the kids? is she satisfied with me? etc?) when considering their mate, and for good reason. If both parties have full-time careers, who is left to take care of the home? Questions like these are genuine concerns for both men and women. I personally do not think they’re deal-breakers, but, they are concerns none-the-less.
As for the ladies response one word sums up my feeling: disappointed. I really wish should would have thought out her response a bit more and made her argument more concise and focused. I was expecting to read about the positive aspects of choosing a career woman (increased household income, nicer living conditions, more balanced children, access to better education, longer lives, etc.), but instead I got nothing more than the same old “women have had to deal with …” argument that proves nothing and simply wastes space.
In short, the response was nothing more than sad, as she had a great opportunity to illustrate the strengths that successful and educated women bring to the table. Instead, she did nothing more than highlight the troubles women have struggled through in the past. Oh well, maybe next time.
3 Comments
First of all honey, I love how you’re stealing my little articles as content for your site; although when I first sent this to you, I had a very strong feeling you would blog about it.
Second, they are both opinion pieces so I could really care less and the point of an opinion piece is to stir up controversy which is exactly what this article is trying to accomplish. I really don’t know about his sources (I would look them up, but surprisingly I don’t have that much time). And since you were disappointed by the woman’s response, as a future career woman, I felt the need to respond.
While I agree with you about the female writer’s piece, I am a little disappointed that you think he has a strong argument. While he brings up valid points that are a source of worry for every couple who has a two-career marriage, his argument does the exact same thing you accuse the female writer of doing. I did not feel as if his argument was clear or concise and he was actually very contradictory.
He states:
“Not a happy conclusion, especially given that many men, particularly successful men, are attracted to women with similar goals and aspirations. And why not? After all, your typical career girl is well educated, ambitious, informed and engaged. All seemingly good things, right? Sure … at least until you get married. Then, to put it bluntly, the more successful she is, the more likely she is to grow dissatisfied with you. Sound familiar? “
It is a given most successful men (most of the time at least), want to marry a successful, goal oriented woman. The writer begins by stating how wonderful a career girl is and that most men are attracted to them (which I personally have found to be true), then his entire argument talks about why you shouldn’t marry one because your marriage would end up in divorce. However he never gives ANY reasons as to what men can do to make a double-career marriage work. While a marriage in which both individuals have full-time careers requires more work, he simply states that men should pick less ambitious women, supposedly making it easier on men because the women would stay at home, take care of the house and kids and you would not risk her being out in the working world meeting new men. Sounds like to me, he, like many men are afraid of potential competition from a wife. Also, I can’t figure out if his dilemma is more with “marrying a career woman†or marriage in general.
Oh and this:
According to a wide-ranging review of the published literature, highly educated people are more likely to have had extramarital sex (those with graduate degrees are 1.75 times more likely to have cheated than those with high school diplomas).
Ok, so he states “highly educated people†but fails to mention gender. Could it be because the there is a higher potential for highly-educated men to cheat, but it remains same or is only slightly increased for women? I think the figures of these studies would put a little dent in his argument. How often do we see, hear and read about highly educated, high power men who trade in their wife’s for a new, younger, trophy wife….. and how often do we see the opposite taking place?
Anyways, I have a lot more to say, but I can’t really finish this right now. Have to get back to work.
Oh, I found this article in response to the Forbes article.
Here’s the link:
http://www.slate.com/id/2148274/
And by the way, you’re going to marry a “career woman†and a “pretty housewife.†You’re just that lucky.
i am with you at this my friend …
Goo: Good arguments. However, while I agree with what you’re saying, I think you fail to take note of one key fact; objective. The guys objective, from what I could gather, is to highlight the potential problems of marrying a career woman and to deter men from pursuing career women. And, for that objective, this article is rather good and presents a strong case. Is it a solid case? No. Not even close, but it is a decent one.
Now the woman’s objective, by her own admission, is to refute the claims of the male author. And, using this objective, I base my opinion that her response is disappointing. She does not bring to light the holes in his argument (which you have done) nor does she stress the benefits of marrying a career woman (which I did in my post). She simply makes excuses for why some career women may act like that. Which, inadvertently gives validity to his absurd claims. Well, one of his absurd claims.
He talks about how a career woman is more likely to cheat when this is simply not the case. A woman who wants to cheat is going to cheat regardless of her financial position. Ever heard the phrase “mama’s baby, papa’s maybe� It has been around long before women were holding high-profile positions in the business sector.
Anyway, a non-career woman could cheat just as easily with the mail-man, the soccer coach, a school teacher, a grocery clerk, or the neighbor as a career woman could with a co-worker. So what is the difference? The one point of his article that is relatively accurate, and that is that a career woman is more likely to leave the relationship. A poor woman is not going to leave a comfortable home, but a career woman is more likely to convince herself that “she don’t need no man†and let herself get caught so she can leave the relationship. Nothing more, nothing less.
Oh, and I am fully aware of exactly how lucky I am.
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