Since I cannot stop thinking about blogging (that is not entirely true), I figured I would throw a little something up on the blog today. And since I have no original content to post (I been studying, so original content will have to wait another week or so), I figured I would post something that has been floating on and off the net for quite some time. It is “supposedly” a letter and response written to Sister2Sister Magazine covering the highly debated topic of interracial dating. I say “supposedly” because while I have seen this letter/response more than once, I have never witnessed the actual article. Either way, it is an interesting (albeit slightly absurd) article. Enjoy the heavily filled with over-the-top stereotypes reading. And post a comment or two if you feel the urge.
Dear Sister2Sister:
I’m sorry but I would like to challenge some of your Black male readers. I am a White female who is engaged to a Black male-good-looking, educated and loving. I just don’t understand a lot of Black female’s attitudes about our relationship. My man decided he wanted me because the pickings amongst Black women were slim to none. As he said they were either too fat, too loud, too mean, too argumentative, too needy, too materialistic or carrying too much excess baggage. Before I became engaged, whenever I went out I was constantly approached by Black men, willing to wine and dine me and give me the world. If Black women are so up in arms about us being with their men, why don’t they look at themselves and make some changes.
I am tired of the dirty looks I get and snide remarks when we’re out in public. I would like to hear from some Black men about why we are so appealing and coveted by them. Bryant Gumbel just left his wife of 26 years for one of us Charles Barkley, Scottie Pippen, the model Tyson Beckford, Montell Williams, Quincy Jones, James Earl Jones, Harry Belafonte, Sydney Poitier, Kofi Anan, Cuba Gooding Jr., Don Cornelius, Berry Gordy, Billy Blanks, Larry Fishburne, Wesley Snipes…I could go on and on. But, right now, I’m a little angry and that is why I wrote this so hurriedly. Don’t be mad with us White women because so many of your men want us. Get your acts together and learn from us and we may lead you to treat your men better. If I’m wrong, Black men, let me know.
Jamie, Disgusted White Girl, Somewhere in VA
RESPONSE:
Dear Jamie:
I would like to respond to the letter written by A Disgusted White Girl. Let me start by saying that I am a 28-year old black man. I graduated from one of the most prestigious universities in Atlanta, Georgia with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Business Management. I have a good job at a major corporation and have recently purchased a house. So, I consider myself to be among the ranks of successful black men. I will not use my precious time to slander white people. I just want to set the record straight of why black men date white women. Back in the day, one of the biggest reasons why black men dated white women was because they were considered “easy”.
The black girls in my neighborhood were raised in the church. They were very strict about when they lost their virginity and who they lost it to. Because of our impatience to wait, brothers would look for someone who would give it up easy without too much hassle. So, they turned to the white girls. Nowadays, in my opinion, a lot of brothers date white women because they are docile and easy to control. A lot of black men, because of insecurities, fears, and overall weaknesses, have become intimidated by the strength of our black women. We are afraid that our woman will be more successful than us, make more money than us, drive nicer cars and own bigger houses. Because of this fear, many black men look for a more docile woman. Someone we can control. I have talked to numerous black men and they continuously comment on how easy it is to control and walk over their white women. I just want to set the record straight. I want A Disgusted White Girl to know that not all successful black men date white women. Brothers like Ahmad Rashad, Denzel Washington, Michael Jordan, Morris Chestnut, Will Smith, Blair Underwood, Kenneth “Babyface” Edmonds, Samuel L. Jackson, and Chris Rock all married strong black women And, to flip the script, there are numerous white men, in and out of the spot light, who openly or secretly desire black women over white women. Ted Danson, Robert DeNiro, and David Bowie to name a few. I just don’t want a disgusted white girl to be misinformed Stop thinking that because you are white that you are some type of goddess. Remember, when black Egyptian Queens like Hatsepshut and Nitorcris were ruling Dynasties and armies of men in Egypt, you were over in the caves of Europe eating raw meat and beating each other over the head with clubs. Read your history!
It was the black woman that taught you how to cook and season your food. It was the black woman that taught you how to raise your children. It was black women who were breast feeding and raising your babies during slavery. It is the black woman that had to endure watching their fathers, husbands, and children beaten, killed, and thrown in jail. black women were born with two strikes against them: being black and being a woman. And, through all this, Still They Rise!It is because of the black women’s strength, elegance, power, love and beauty that I could never date anyone except my black Queen. It is not just the outer beauty that captivates and draws me to them.
It is not the fact that they come in all shapes, sizes, colors and shades that I love them. Their inner beauty is what I find most appealing about black women. Their strong spirit, loving and nurturing souls, their integrity, their ability to overcome great obstacles, their willingness to stand for what they believe in, and their determination to succeed and reach their highest potential while enduring great pain and suffering is why I have fallen in love with black women. I honestly believe that your anger is geared more toward jealousy and envy more so than snotty looks. If this were not so, then why do you continuously go to tanning salons to darken your skin? If you are so proud to be white, then why don’t you just be happy with your pale skin? Why do you continue to inject your lips, hips, and breasts with unnatural and dangerous substances so you can look fuller and more voluptuous? I think that your anger is really a result of you wanting to have what the black woman has.
BOTTOM LINE: If I were looking for a docile woman, someone I can walk over and control, I would give you a call. But, unfortunately, I am looking for a Virtuous Woman. Someone that can be a good wife and mother to my children. Someone who can be my best friend and understands my struggles. I am looking for a soul mate. I am looking for a sister and; unfortunately, you do not and CANNOT fit the bill. No offense taken, none given.
Signed, Black Royalty
So there you have it. I told you it was filled with some over-the-top stereotypes. I personally find it a little laughable. The two writers just seem a bit too extreme and a bit too “definite” (I think this way, so therefore ALL people think this way) to really influence my own opinions on the subject. But, to each their own.
4 Comments
I’m so tired of hearing the black woman/white woman debate (probably because I am neither). I might not know what it is like to be white or black, but I know that if you look back in history, you will find woman in every race go through struggle. As well there are virtuous and not-so virtuous woman of every race. This article upsets me, and if it really was published in a magazine, shame on that magazine for doing NOTHING to help race relations.
As a decendent of the Kings and Queens of Africa I love and possess a unbreakable love for my people and our culture. Although I do believe that love does come in any color and that no one should be charged to only love a man/woman of their race, I also believe it is shameful act to prefer women in general of a different ethnic group over the women of your ethnicity. It’s a grave insult. In addition, to ms_canadia because you are neither a “black” or white woman you will never understand the full extinct of this issue in regards to these two specific races. (I’m not stating that this issue does not exist between other ethnic groups or even that “black” or white women don’t feel the same towards women of other races dating their men, I’m just addressing the situation at hand.) And although I respect your opinion that maybe Sister2Siter did not help in acheiving “racial harmony” (I made that up), it is also important to address issues that exist in society, furthermore this white women wrote the magazine in search of the outlook of “black” men and so her request was met. She was extreme and highly disrespectful to “black” women in her letter and I think that honestly there was no better medicine for her than a response from a “black” man who strongly disagrees and covets the “black” woman. It was a highlight that this “black” man was educated and accomplished since her letter proves that she believes these type of “black” men only go for white women, it was also a pleasure of mine to read his letter where he reminded her of the origin of “blac”k women for you see “black” is a name given to African decendants who were brought to america as slaves in an effort to strip us of our royalness and our feelings of connection to our origin, Africa. He pleased me further when he began to name white men who prefer african women, now dont get me wrong it is still a slap to the face of the mother who bears a child who ultimately grows up and doesnt have the upmost pride, love and respect for their own women, however she needed to be reminded that this does not only exist in african man and that african women are coveted all around the globe, especially in USA where the white women as he stated: tan, and alter their bodies in an effort to resemble us (african women). So i enjoyed the article it was a reality check for that foolish woman and I’m sure it opened eyes of african men and even influenced additional pride in the “proud and not so proud ” population of african women. BLACK MEN-I LOVE YOU TOO.
I just want to thank the black man for the reply on this particular comment. People try to sugar coat the issue and it is annoying to me. I am a product of an interracial marriage except my dad is Italian and my mom is mixed with black and white. I hate seeing black men with white women exclusively. Ok yes we should all be ok to date whom ever we choose, however it annoys me when a man purposely pick a white woman and only dates white women. I am an educated black woman. Intelligent and very pretty. I have modeled in the past and have never had a problem trying to find or get a man. I am however light bright, damn near white and it annoys me that men want me only because I am considered a “yellow bone”. I am just happy that a man has the courage to say the things he did and I applaud him for speaking the truth. Yes it is the truth that most black men want white women because they are easier to get into the sac and when has anyone gone to a club that has white women and they were not there making out with the first man they saw drunk as hell!!! Sorry to curse…oh well God Bless!!!
okay i’m gonna break this thing down and finally say what is true. as a white woman/ sexy, strong, intellectual, yet kind at heart. i love having a nice tan, it makes these light green eyes shine. i feel like i glow. and yes i think black women are as a majority the most beautiful women in the world. if i was a man i would probably prefer a black woman over a white woman. however, i would want a woman that is kind and strong without all the extra self-centered i am queen this and that talk. not a weak woman, but a humble woman. if a black man prefers a black woman because she comes off with a black power attitude then as a white woman he would be undesirable to me. that would be the same as a white man sticking only to white women because of the same similar way of thinking as shown above. like i said i think he is correct about the girl drinking a little too much hater-aid. as a white woman you gotta give it up to the sistas for their beauty and confidence. if i were a man i would date black women first or maybe a killer looking interracial lady. i think to say that white women are easier is also a sign of some hater-aid being passed around. i could just easily say that black women are obviously easier if you check the stats on who has the most babies in their early teens. everybody needs to love one another and stop trippin over the small stuff. by the way, my man is black and he too thinks black women are of the most beautiful. however, he too is educated. but it is in wisdom rather than knowledge. therefore, it is not as simple as black or white. not as simple as queens and cave women or who has the most pre-marital sex. drink up all the knowledge in the world and you shall remain thirsty for what is truth, wisdom, love, and peace within the soul. good luck to all of you.
jah bless
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