Since I cannot stop thinking about blogging (that is not entirely true), I figured I would throw a little something up on the blog today. And since I have no original content to post (I been studying, so original content will have to wait another week or so), I figured I would post something that has been floating on and off the net for quite some time. It is “supposedly” a letter and response written to Sister2Sister Magazine covering the highly debated topic of interracial dating. I say “supposedly” because while I have seen this letter/response more than once, I have never witnessed the actual article. Either way, it is an interesting (albeit slightly absurd) article. Enjoy the heavily filled with over-the-top stereotypes reading. And post a comment or two if you feel the urge.
Dear Sister2Sister:
I’m sorry but I would like to challenge some of your Black male readers. I am a White female who is engaged to a Black male-good-looking, educated and loving. I just don’t understand a lot of Black female’s attitudes about our relationship. My man decided he wanted me because the pickings amongst Black women were slim to none. As he said they were either too fat, too loud, too mean, too argumentative, too needy, too materialistic or carrying too much excess baggage. Before I became engaged, whenever I went out I was constantly approached by Black men, willing to wine and dine me and give me the world. If Black women are so up in arms about us being with their men, why don’t they look at themselves and make some changes.
I am tired of the dirty looks I get and snide remarks when we’re out in public. I would like to hear from some Black men about why we are so appealing and coveted by them. Bryant Gumbel just left his wife of 26 years for one of us Charles Barkley, Scottie Pippen, the model Tyson Beckford, Montell Williams, Quincy Jones, James Earl Jones, Harry Belafonte, Sydney Poitier, Kofi Anan, Cuba Gooding Jr., Don Cornelius, Berry Gordy, Billy Blanks, Larry Fishburne, Wesley Snipes…I could go on and on. But, right now, I’m a little angry and that is why I wrote this so hurriedly. Don’t be mad with us White women because so many of your men want us. Get your acts together and learn from us and we may lead you to treat your men better. If I’m wrong, Black men, let me know.
Jamie, Disgusted White Girl, Somewhere in VA
RESPONSE:
Dear Jamie:
I would like to respond to the letter written by A Disgusted White Girl. Let me start by saying that I am a 28-year old black man. I graduated from one of the most prestigious universities in Atlanta, Georgia with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Business Management. I have a good job at a major corporation and have recently purchased a house. So, I consider myself to be among the ranks of successful black men. I will not use my precious time to slander white people. I just want to set the record straight of why black men date white women. Back in the day, one of the biggest reasons why black men dated white women was because they were considered “easy”.
The black girls in my neighborhood were raised in the church. They were very strict about when they lost their virginity and who they lost it to. Because of our impatience to wait, brothers would look for someone who would give it up easy without too much hassle. So, they turned to the white girls. Nowadays, in my opinion, a lot of brothers date white women because they are docile and easy to control. A lot of black men, because of insecurities, fears, and overall weaknesses, have become intimidated by the strength of our black women. We are afraid that our woman will be more successful than us, make more money than us, drive nicer cars and own bigger houses. Because of this fear, many black men look for a more docile woman. Someone we can control. I have talked to numerous black men and they continuously comment on how easy it is to control and walk over their white women. I just want to set the record straight. I want A Disgusted White Girl to know that not all successful black men date white women. Brothers like Ahmad Rashad, Denzel Washington, Michael Jordan, Morris Chestnut, Will Smith, Blair Underwood, Kenneth “Babyface” Edmonds, Samuel L. Jackson, and Chris Rock all married strong black women And, to flip the script, there are numerous white men, in and out of the spot light, who openly or secretly desire black women over white women. Ted Danson, Robert DeNiro, and David Bowie to name a few. I just don’t want a disgusted white girl to be misinformed Stop thinking that because you are white that you are some type of goddess. Remember, when black Egyptian Queens like Hatsepshut and Nitorcris were ruling Dynasties and armies of men in Egypt, you were over in the caves of Europe eating raw meat and beating each other over the head with clubs. Read your history!
It was the black woman that taught you how to cook and season your food. It was the black woman that taught you how to raise your children. It was black women who were breast feeding and raising your babies during slavery. It is the black woman that had to endure watching their fathers, husbands, and children beaten, killed, and thrown in jail. black women were born with two strikes against them: being black and being a woman. And, through all this, Still They Rise!It is because of the black women’s strength, elegance, power, love and beauty that I could never date anyone except my black Queen. It is not just the outer beauty that captivates and draws me to them.
It is not the fact that they come in all shapes, sizes, colors and shades that I love them. Their inner beauty is what I find most appealing about black women. Their strong spirit, loving and nurturing souls, their integrity, their ability to overcome great obstacles, their willingness to stand for what they believe in, and their determination to succeed and reach their highest potential while enduring great pain and suffering is why I have fallen in love with black women. I honestly believe that your anger is geared more toward jealousy and envy more so than snotty looks. If this were not so, then why do you continuously go to tanning salons to darken your skin? If you are so proud to be white, then why don’t you just be happy with your pale skin? Why do you continue to inject your lips, hips, and breasts with unnatural and dangerous substances so you can look fuller and more voluptuous? I think that your anger is really a result of you wanting to have what the black woman has.
BOTTOM LINE: If I were looking for a docile woman, someone I can walk over and control, I would give you a call. But, unfortunately, I am looking for a Virtuous Woman. Someone that can be a good wife and mother to my children. Someone who can be my best friend and understands my struggles. I am looking for a soul mate. I am looking for a sister and; unfortunately, you do not and CANNOT fit the bill. No offense taken, none given.
Signed, Black Royalty
So there you have it. I told you it was filled with some over-the-top stereotypes. I personally find it a little laughable. The two writers just seem a bit too extreme and a bit too “definite” (I think this way, so therefore ALL people think this way) to really influence my own opinions on the subject. But, to each their own.
59 Comments
I’m so tired of hearing the black woman/white woman debate (probably because I am neither). I might not know what it is like to be white or black, but I know that if you look back in history, you will find woman in every race go through struggle. As well there are virtuous and not-so virtuous woman of every race. This article upsets me, and if it really was published in a magazine, shame on that magazine for doing NOTHING to help race relations.
As a decendent of the Kings and Queens of Africa I love and possess a unbreakable love for my people and our culture. Although I do believe that love does come in any color and that no one should be charged to only love a man/woman of their race, I also believe it is shameful act to prefer women in general of a different ethnic group over the women of your ethnicity. It’s a grave insult. In addition, to ms_canadia because you are neither a “black” or white woman you will never understand the full extinct of this issue in regards to these two specific races. (I’m not stating that this issue does not exist between other ethnic groups or even that “black” or white women don’t feel the same towards women of other races dating their men, I’m just addressing the situation at hand.) And although I respect your opinion that maybe Sister2Siter did not help in acheiving “racial harmony” (I made that up), it is also important to address issues that exist in society, furthermore this white women wrote the magazine in search of the outlook of “black” men and so her request was met. She was extreme and highly disrespectful to “black” women in her letter and I think that honestly there was no better medicine for her than a response from a “black” man who strongly disagrees and covets the “black” woman. It was a highlight that this “black” man was educated and accomplished since her letter proves that she believes these type of “black” men only go for white women, it was also a pleasure of mine to read his letter where he reminded her of the origin of “blac”k women for you see “black” is a name given to African decendants who were brought to america as slaves in an effort to strip us of our royalness and our feelings of connection to our origin, Africa. He pleased me further when he began to name white men who prefer african women, now dont get me wrong it is still a slap to the face of the mother who bears a child who ultimately grows up and doesnt have the upmost pride, love and respect for their own women, however she needed to be reminded that this does not only exist in african man and that african women are coveted all around the globe, especially in USA where the white women as he stated: tan, and alter their bodies in an effort to resemble us (african women). So i enjoyed the article it was a reality check for that foolish woman and I’m sure it opened eyes of african men and even influenced additional pride in the “proud and not so proud ” population of african women. BLACK MEN-I LOVE YOU TOO.
I just want to thank the black man for the reply on this particular comment. People try to sugar coat the issue and it is annoying to me. I am a product of an interracial marriage except my dad is Italian and my mom is mixed with black and white. I hate seeing black men with white women exclusively. Ok yes we should all be ok to date whom ever we choose, however it annoys me when a man purposely pick a white woman and only dates white women. I am an educated black woman. Intelligent and very pretty. I have modeled in the past and have never had a problem trying to find or get a man. I am however light bright, damn near white and it annoys me that men want me only because I am considered a “yellow bone”. I am just happy that a man has the courage to say the things he did and I applaud him for speaking the truth. Yes it is the truth that most black men want white women because they are easier to get into the sac and when has anyone gone to a club that has white women and they were not there making out with the first man they saw drunk as hell!!! Sorry to curse…oh well God Bless!!!
okay i’m gonna break this thing down and finally say what is true. as a white woman/ sexy, strong, intellectual, yet kind at heart. i love having a nice tan, it makes these light green eyes shine. i feel like i glow. and yes i think black women are as a majority the most beautiful women in the world. if i was a man i would probably prefer a black woman over a white woman. however, i would want a woman that is kind and strong without all the extra self-centered i am queen this and that talk. not a weak woman, but a humble woman. if a black man prefers a black woman because she comes off with a black power attitude then as a white woman he would be undesirable to me. that would be the same as a white man sticking only to white women because of the same similar way of thinking as shown above. like i said i think he is correct about the girl drinking a little too much hater-aid. as a white woman you gotta give it up to the sistas for their beauty and confidence. if i were a man i would date black women first or maybe a killer looking interracial lady. i think to say that white women are easier is also a sign of some hater-aid being passed around. i could just easily say that black women are obviously easier if you check the stats on who has the most babies in their early teens. everybody needs to love one another and stop trippin over the small stuff. by the way, my man is black and he too thinks black women are of the most beautiful. however, he too is educated. but it is in wisdom rather than knowledge. therefore, it is not as simple as black or white. not as simple as queens and cave women or who has the most pre-marital sex. drink up all the knowledge in the world and you shall remain thirsty for what is truth, wisdom, love, and peace within the soul. good luck to all of you.
jah bless
well all I can say is this. I am a strong black educated female and yes I think that it is definitely true that black men are so into white women. They use the excuse of us have too much baggage. But the real issue is that we are strong willed sistas that refuse to be walked all over and allow black men to take advanage of us. As black women we have risen to the top on our own with having already 2 strikes ahead of us. When a black man turns away from his sistas to date nothing but white women, he is symbolizes his weakeness as a black man. but keep doing what you’re doing because, my black man is in my corner and we are very successful(oh yea I am a sista). When he lies and rises with me in the morning, he can’t understand most of the brothers out there.
my problem was a black man,i was not thuggish enough for black women,besides white skin is beautiful just like black skin,personally i prefer mexican/latino women
Just let these peopel be,I am a blackman I gave up on talking to black women ,they alsways turn me down
date mexican women
i have read what everyone has to say about the topic at hand,now it’s my turn.i am an african american woman and love that i am just that,i’ve seen beautiful white girls tan and pale,you have to look at race as a whole,we are born in this society to hate one another for whatever reason(there is so many) i know my own history and know that black girls were looked at as “objects” mostly sexual by the white man. nowdays i see alot of black men with white girls and i wonder is it that they really want the white lady or are they doing it because of the way white men looked at their queens?umm i wander. i feel it is your very own choice to date whoever you please but it should be done out of really loving the person.in closing i feel that as a whole human race we will never fully understand one another because we come from totally different backgrounds. thank you!
Hi my name is Nkeiruka and i am a strong, inteligent black women.
this year I entered college as a freshmen and was suprised to see that so many brothers were dating white women. Now dont get me wrong white women are beautiful people and I have white women friends, but it seems that now a days the new thing for black men is to date white women. This saddend me because the selection of good black men are slim to none. I am a nigerian decendent so Black/ african men will always be appealing to me first, but after my recent discovery I think i may now be more open to interacial relationships (not that I was not before).
And furthermore I honestly believe that the only reason black men find white women more attractive is because they are less authoritive and independent then black women. This may not be the case for all interracial relationships because I know that love has no boundries and sees no color, but it is time for black women and black men to start listening to each other and make relationships work.
As a white male I would like to address the subject. The reason that white women date black men are various. in my opinion it is the media that potrays it. I honestly see more bm/wf couples in advertising that all white couples. Most white women attend public school where there is no “european history month”. Whites have no race based college scholarships, no white based (mainstream) racial advocacy groups. No white based racial political leaders. No racial awareness (as a whole). White males in prison are raped at a rate of 140,000 per year acording to the Federal Bureau of prisons. According to FBI crime statitics around 90,000 women (of all races) report being raped. Whites account for lesss than 8% of the world’s population and our numbers are dwindling fast. Federal hate crime legislation does not include non-white races on white crimes. No organization, group, association, college, corporation can be all-white legally. Diversity, sensativity training, and multiculturalism are “force fed”. It is easier for whites to “sell out” their race than stand up for it. Within 100 years there will be no whites left in the face of the earth under current demographic changes. On top of that ALL european countries (formerly white homelands) are increasing third world (non white) immigration. And if a white person speaks out against any of this…..he/she is a racist! That is the reason that white women date black men…..for simple survival!
I think you love who you love man,life is too short.No one wants to be alone for there life.So let it be.I used to be kinda racist once I learned the bad history of the country.The only thing notice is that we blackmen date outside our race more than any other men.Blackmen lost their identity in slavery now we are getting our history and cultural back.I notice when people know their history and culture their is less race-mixing.I also notice that is not always the true.Women for some reason flock toward blackmen more than any other race.So what do you do.Readign ancient black history will wake up a lot of people.Like they say you don’t know where you are going until you know where you are coming from.Live in peace ,people.
Hi, Im a black male married to a black woman for 9 years, we both have multiple degrees hers in history mine in social and cultural geography. I’ve dated asian, and jewish women in the past in addition to black women,
Mainly due to my interest in their cultures and a lack of understanding of my own.
As I finished college and met my wife, her example over time showed me that my ignorance of the diversity of my people was the issue not how “black women act”. I was looking for an intellectual and cultural equal. I had foolishly thought because of 1-2 experiences and the media that I could not find that in a black woman (I too thought all of the good ones were married or taken), but I did and it has been the best event in my life.
A lot of black people who think that liking country, alternative, or classical music is not “black” or that reading sci-fi/fantasy is not “black” or that skateboarding or SCUBA is not “black” automatically feel that they have nothing in common with black people, they think they are some sort of special unique “exceptional” black person, and therefore should never associate with a black person of opposite gender because they aren’t on the same level.
Don’t think so? Go to any dating site sift through the entries for black men and women, notice how the hobbies of those who prefer to date outside of their ethnic group usually include key terms like “I like rock” or “I like anime” or “I like nascar”. They are screaming silently to all…”I am not like those OTHER black people, the hoochies and thugs, I’m different, I’m not your typical black man or woman”. It never occurs to them (or they feel better not considering) that there are indeed other black people of opposite gender just like them. No its easier to bash all black men or black women and look for acceptance elsewhere, its the easy convenient thing to do.
Black students tend to learn that black history is basically the history of slavery, we rarely get to learn of ancient black civilizations on the scale that we are required to learn about european, asian, middle eastern and even native american culture in k-12. We are taught that we have no control of our destiny that white people enslaved us and that white people freed us. This tends to undermine the confidence one has regarding the importance and value of their culture and themselves.
Slowly over time you either learn to stop feeling like you have to live up to (ie turn your back on all things black) or live down to (become a stereotype) the expectations white society has for black people. They might want Carlton from the Fresh Prince or Bel-Air or an Uncle Tom/Clown but you have to decide what it is you want for yourself. Is the key to happiness for your life acceptance by white people or another culture you feel is “better” than the mockery of black culture the media portays or acceptance of yourself as a unique individual black person?
Another thing people have to understand is that the media likes to encourage simple stereotypes and pit the men and women of black cultures against each other. Its why the Disney movie The Frog Prince originally scripted a black princess with a white prince (black men can’t be princes I guess) to encourage the notion that has long been displayed that a white mate is ideal or better than a mate of your own ethnicity. The Lion King easily could have been about actual africans, but no once again its better to have noble animals than noble africans.
The trend is now to focus on black women, to somehow convey that sexual interest from people who a mere 40-50 years ago were raping you and brutalizing your children is now a compliment. I have witnessed black women on a message board debate who the plantation owner found more attractive light skinned women or dark skinned women, as if this was a badge of honor.
The poem, The death of the strong black woman, that is so popular, blames her demise of all manner of weak, selfish, harmful black men and white women, but nowhere in the poem is the white man blamed for anything that contributes to her demise. Oh there is the vague comment on racism but never a direct accusation of the architect of this twisted racial hierarchy. Let’s not forget European culture is dominant because they sailed the world and brought violence, took lands by force when they were not given freely and killed anyone who stood against them for their own rights.
In closing, let me say I’m not anti-interracial relationships so much as I am anti-stereotyping that leads people to think that they can only be happy with someone not like them because they are too different from the stereotype. I say this because its painful to hear my niece say she wished my brother was white like their mother because then the white kids wouldn’t call her names, or because my aunt is married to an abusive white man because she started dating rural white guys because in her opinion the black guys were all players who didn’t want to marry anyone. I’m not a player I said, and she said no you are different, but I’m not I know too many other guys like me to believe that nonsense anymore.
I would hope anyone involved in an interracial marriage really love themselves and the person they are with not for what they look like or represent but simply for the collective personality in that grey matter, and being with someone from another culture doesn’t mean you need to put down your own culture or your opposite gender so that your non-black partner doesn’t feel threatened. I’ve listened to black people but down the moral and social value of black men and black women to their white SO, and it makes no sense to be with someone you have to belittle your own culture to to make them feel secure. Well enough said I guess (if anyone reads this book).
PS. A lot of black people also need to let go of the whole “social condition of black men and women excuse” and hit a gym or learn to be more social and pleasant. All people, of all ethnicities tend to prefer healthy fun-loving people to get to know, so don’t blame it on black men or black women dating outside of the “race” if you can’t get a date, sometimes its just your flaws and the type of men/women (or both) that you are attracted too.
As a black man that has dated women from different races and backgrounds, I can keep it simple.
The reasons so many brothas date outside their race are
1.) the ridiculous “black adonis” standards black women have
2.) the unapproachable attitudes sistas have
and 3.) -the big unsaid one- MOST SISTAS NOWDAYS ARE LESBIANS!!!!
I’m engaged… to a black woman… and I got one of the last 23 HETEROSEXUAL black women in Detroit. Hell yeah I’m gonna marry her.
I am a 25 year old white woman whom is divorced from a puerto rican man and now date only black/spanish men. I grew up in a very racist home with very strict rules. Being rebellious in my teen years may have contributed to my preference in men. But I just see black/spanish men to be more appealing to me in a matter of physical attraction and swagger.
Of course, as does the disgusted white woman whom wrote this blog, I get the same nasty looks and remarks. But I don’t even acknowledge it and feed into its existance. I don’t know what to tell you, besides just to grow some thick skin, because if you are going to marry this man and spend the rest of your life with him…..GET USED TO IT. Its been hundreds of years and still we have some people whom do not accept interracial relations.
And as for the comments of white women being ‘easy’ ‘dependent’ and ‘docile’……they are steriotypical just as are the assumptions of all black men being more endowed. lol I have a bachelors in meteorology from the united states air force, and am working on my RN. I work now as a medical technician and a model and I find many black men attracted to me for not only my looks but my mind as well. I am far from being ‘easy’ and am a very strong and INDEPENDENT single mother. So I just say forget what others think and make yourself happy….don’t listen to the remarks. Life is too short to let others make you unhappy.
Thank you for your precious time.
I hate to busrt any bubble here, but this is for the most part insane. The last post about dating ONLY Black is simply nuts..I am a very successful black man and have dated black, white and others. People are people, but when any white woman tells me she ONLY dates black men I RUN..She is in need of therapy. Read the last post she dates blacks because her parents were racists. She likes the swagger? She needs a therapists not another Black man.
For the record white women are the easiest and most naive creatures on the planet. Every white woman I know who only dates blacks has some real issues with her fatehr, family , self image or the like.
Only black is a symptom of a broken white woman.
Comment removed by Admin due to language. Please keep it clean and respectful.
Hello, I am a 22 year old black women, who is very successful in her career. Yes, I have all if not more of the same characteristics that a white women can offer a man PERIOD. But definetely a black man. So just for the white lady who made her comment first, please know, and never forget that I will never envy any part of a white women, cause I do not have to get a lip plump, I already have full beautiful lips, I do not have to go get butt implants, cause guess what I was blessed with a very very nice round one, and last but not least, I surely do not have to get a tan, cause, my color is like caramel. So with that being said, my black men are just somewhat confused right now, and I can understand where they are coming from. For them dating white women is a big slap in the face to white men, cause in slavery time a black man could so much as look at a white women, and it would be over. But answer me this white women, back in the slavery days why did the white men want to sleep with the black women, and rap the black women? If they wanted sex they had white wives. Right? Good night. Black men I still love you. And yes there are smart black women out there.
Hello, I am a 29 year old married mother of one and this has been a burning question for quite sometime about black men dating white women. Now, I would be alright with this if black men could give me a vaild reason for the relationships other than: White girls are easy, they not ghetto or they just will do anything sexually. So I asked a man who is from Trinidad who was married to a white women and now lives with another one. He says he likes all races but it just works out that he keeps ending up with white women. I don’t buy that for one minute that’s what he feels comfortable with because he is afraid to try anything else. To all the White women black women don’t envy you but we just want to know why these black men worship you all like gods when their mothers are black? I love all black men even the ones in prison and I understand the struggle. Brother there are some great black women out there!
Comment removed by Admin due to language. Please keep it clean and respectful.
I think black men date white women because they’re stupid, they’re submissive and they dont control anyting, white women let their man do whatever he wants, he can have 2 or 3 women come and go as he pleases and drive the white womens car to see his other women, black women demand respect we want a man who’s going to work and put us first, he cant come in all times of day and call when he feels like it. therefore look at it this way white women only get the black men who dont want nothing in life and have babies all over the place, WEAK BLACK MEN DATE WHITE WOMEN because they aren’t forced to do anything when they get tired and straighten their life out then they come back to their BLACK WOMEN
I just want to say I am a graduate student who is a white woman, and I am NOT DOCILE and do NOT do what my boyfriend of 4 years tells me, and he knows it. He often jokes I am demanding like that of a red-headed step child (I’m Irish and in case anyone is unaware…Irish girls are KNOWN for being temperamental). I am assertive, to the point, and I pay my half of the bills…my HALF…because if anyone pays all of them its HIM not me…and no I don’t ask him to do this..sometimes he insists on it and does it to surprise me! The one thing he does say is I always insist on getting my own things (unless we’re on a date) when it comes to MY bills etc and I know what I want and get it MYSELF–I don’t pay ANYTHING for him…I DON’T take orders from him and he says, that’s what he loves about me. His mother, YES his MOTHER, tells him to try to take care of me, cause she sees the way I am so independent and loves that about me…we have to remember that yes, there are people who act in a general sort of way, but race does not determine everyone’s personality…and I am happy to be different than what some people think is the norm.
I am so sick of some people assuming that just because I am with a black man, he must think all black girls are too loud and ugly or I’m just a pushover with “good” hair (people say this about my hair to me, I DON’T say this). How about, my boyfriend grew up in the suburbs in a mostly white area, that’s what he saw first as a child, and that’s the physical attributes he is most attracted to? He is not looking for someone who is loud, that is true, but that is not excluded only to black girls, white girls can be loud and obnoxious too, just as white girls can know what they want in life–in fact, one of the only things he said his mother specified not to bring home was any “loud voiced girl.” To ALL ladies, we can demand what we deserve out of life calmly without yelling about it, and I am proud to say that I, respectfully, hold my own and my ground with my man.
My two cents on this issue is this.. Stop making complaints about not finding the man you want. Make a list on what you want in a man. Get happy wiht yourself first. Then put yourself in positions to find that good man your looking for. For the record, I do have more of a drawn preferance to white females. I simply seem to be able to communicate with them better in the dating world. So there call me RUCKUS all you want.
That being said, ask yourself why am I single? what can I do to attract the man I want?. Does he have to be black?. I mean I understand being attracted to a person for the external qualities they possess, but how about opening your options . How about getting out of your circle of comfort and go explore what else the wold offers. Nothing wrong with knowing ones culture and awhere they come from. But its also good to know where your going and to expand youself.
Learn whats going on in the world and meet other folks . Im not saying for dating but just enhance your dating circle. Most of the AA women I know are always with each other as friends and thats all. Im not saying having black love and bonding isnt important. It is, but goodness learn what else is out there.
And as far as lack of avaliable men please. 95% of black men marry black women. So your concerned over 5% of guys who dont wan tto be with you? Most of my friends will marry black women in my college eucated circle. I think this complaining is just pure envy for those who have no man. I say fix yourself first and stop hating on folks who are happy.
Finally, white women are also loud, independent and agressive as well. The they are weak myth is a myth. I can tell you stories of the women I know.
wow!!!!!!
both views i have read seem to be so hatefull. i never dreamed that a southern girl, i would ever date much less marry a black man. however, i met a wonderful man (yes, he is a black man) at my intial job out of college. we talked and got to knw eachother but never went out. after one year i took another job and at my going away party he asked if i would go out with him (something we could not have done if we were co-workers. i let him know i would like that very much.
anyway, to make along story short, that was 22 years ago and we have been married for the past 20 years. 20 years of total love and sharing. we have 2 wonderful children and a great life together.
has it been easy, not at all, but we love eachother and that is all that matters. he is a wonderful friend, lover and provider for me and our children. most of our married friends, white/white, black/black are now divorced. it is so sad.
i tell my 2 sons that dating is fun and should be. relationships are work and commentment and marriage is forever. whatever they do i just want them to always do the right thing when dealing with others. i think we, my husband and i, that they seem to understand that, even as teens.
thanx for the time here.
chell in virgina 2
I am a black woman, and I have an attraction to black men, white men, latino men, all races of men. I feel that a lot of times black men (and sometimes black women and anybody else) has the tendency to point out the flaws of their own race as the reason why they date outside of their race. I feel like if you date someone outside of your race it should be because you are interested in that person for things outside of physical appearance.
hmm, as a 20 year old black male i have no true preference in terms of the women i am interested in one thing that i will state is because i come from a jamaican family with alot of female cousins who are models or just beautiful in general my expectations/standard of black women is probably much higher than for white women because of that, i am also alot more well rounded then say just an american because i’ve lived in Jamaica,Canada, and America it gives me a little more insight into what i see. Women are Women regardless of their race and the only thing that really differs is their societal attitudes, i have gotten quite a few “if he isn’t giving me this he aint Shi*” from black women in the states, but i’ve also met some really delicate black women who just oozed a positive vibe. In the end all bets are off on interracial dating, a persons personality is based on who they are around when they are growing up, so as my father said to me “theirs plenty of other fish in the sea, that’s why you go deep sea diving”
Comment removed by Admin due to language. Please keep it clean and respectful.
Across the board, every person is an individual regardless of gender, & ethnicity. People have preferences regarding who that date based upon prior life experiences. It is very petty to assume race determines how refined a person is, or that black women are automatically ghetto. Honestly, dating & finding love is hard enough. Don’t send negativity towards a couple because their genetic backgrounds are polar opposites; for all you know they were both raised in identical environments & completely understand each other as equals. Real Talk.
I am a black women. I never had a problem getting a black man that I wanted. When I would see black men with white women, it would usually be a joke to me. Most of them would have fat slobs, something that looked like they pulled it out of the trash! Seemed like if your going to date outside your race at least get something that looks worth something. Black men get the kind of white women, white men dont even want. I just laugh and laugh. That’s them. To all the sister’s it’s plenty of brother’s out here. Good one’s. To all the white women don’t let those black men that you have, have you thinking that you so much better then us because the real truth is YOUR NOT AND NEVER WILL BE!
We’re all black….know your history! The civilization of man began in Africa or have you forgotten?
Love the site…
Black men are beautiful!!! I have 4 brothers, 3 dating white women, simple they call it. Simple, as ‘life for them’ is difficult. The struggles and expections of life with the black women leave them weak and out of control, particularly when black woman have high expectation of them.
Black women have not failed the black man, society has. My bros wants’ a status life, without the hassle of marriage, a bag of weed and their mother’s dinner before they go home to their white woman - simple. Of course this is not the case with all black men who date outside the race. As we know, many have lots their taste for good food, deep love and soft skin.
I also dated white men, I tried, and thought I was contented until I realised something was missing. An understanding … was missing. I don’t think I need to explain this ‘understanding’. It simply comes with knowing what happened, why it happen, who you are, where you’re going.
I am a professional, both at work and home. My family comes first, my mother and father is black, my children are black, my grandchildren are black. We know where we came from, and where we are going. My bro’s walk off the path, and experience tell me they will find the path again.
It just fashionable…. a need to be filled with the assurance that they can be a man, can be satisfied in a way they want to be satisfied.
Black women leave them be, they have needs that we will never understand, or can to satisfied. When they come back, ‘they will understand.’
I’m Sonia husband,
I never dated a white women, there was no need to step out. If it wasn’t my wife it would be Jill Scott, Beauty at it’s best. Talented!
Educated, temptation, relaxation, as Jill Scott say with my Black woman you have conversation. I was born in South Africian, I watched as an uncle was killed because he asked a white police man why he had kicked his dog. My family suffered under aparthied, the effects are still there.
I don’t hate white people, but I remember. At work there is still equality issues, with white colleagues. I don’t need a reminded when I home. My black woman my history, my life, my blood and my own.
Black men can be insensitive, and selfish. What determine their needs?
1. Money
2. To be looked after
3. To come and go as they please
4. Satisfaction (media with half naked white women pushed into our faces makes it very difficult, the white women is sold to us) Come on…. it’s sexual, a raw need - sold as beauty).
But when I go home, my beauty is there.
Life is NICE!!!!!
Seriously… “Black Royalty” you are laughable when did you grow up when “sisters” weren’t giving it away are you living in a frigging box. That is why all the black women out there have 6 kids by 6 baby daddies. Second READ YOUR HISTORY. I have dated many Egyptian men and it’s really laughable blacks have no history of your own so you have to steal other people’s morons. YOU are the ones still in the 21st century who are living in caves and dancing around fires. The Egyptians are Semitic peoples they are ARABS NOT BLACKS but of course you have to pick any history that is better because you have none of your own worth talking about. Do you know the Egyptians think you beneath them? They have you as workers and slaves and the darker your skin in Egypt the lower class and less desirable you are? Did you know that fool. Yep it’s true blacks are their servants and many Egyptians have even told me wellll we accept blacks can rule and have positions in gov’t but if one of our family ever married a dark skinned person they would be disowned his own brother even married a darker skinned Egyptian woman and he was ridiculed by his family for his choice. So check YOUR facts jacka**
oh and also it’s not OUR fault that your OWN people sold you as slaves to the whites. Nice, real nice.
EriSalem
oh and also it’s not OUR fault that your OWN people sold you as slaves to the whites. Nice, real nice.
Posted on 14-Feb-09 at 11:38 pm
This would be the natural response from one lacking
shame and humility for the crime their ancestor against
black people.
Clearly, the American education system have failed in
it’s teachings. White people will naturally feel adversed
to black people, they have corrupted regilious texts, removing all evidence of black people from the bible, and creation in their early century paintings and documents. In doing so they have doctrine their ancestors to believe they are they justified in their actions against black people. Yes Blacks africans did their brothers wrong. But the injustices was committed by the white mans hands. No where is it written that the africans, hanged, castrated, burned,
cut babies out of black women, raped black women and their son’s, removed the history and culture of their black brothers. Historical documents and photos of whites committing these crimes against blacks are there for all to see and remember.
Black people have no guilt, we are free in mind and spirit to remember those whom died at the hand of evil, to worship God, knowing we are created in his image, and the first human creation. Should this be questioned, ask yourselves how was Jesus hidden in Eygpt, how was Joseph brothers not able to identify him amongst the Egyptians. If the Egyptians was truely fair, why did the germans find it necessary to remove the black noses and features from the the statues. Further, Moses, look at the details of his hands turning white like leprosy and his hair like wool.
When black people read, study the history of the white man he will see how we have been decieved those out history a
If we read, and study we will not be decieved by satan and his helpers. THE DOORS OPENED BY MARTIN LUTHER KING HAVE BEEN CLOSED BY OUR SONS.
Woman,
I understand how you might feel. Black people have been at odds with themselves and other people for centuries. I have the upmost respect for black women and even latin women but, when it comes to dating some women and men can be ruthless, ” Its all Karma and what goes around comes around”. So many women are raising children without fathers, ” Who’s to blame”. Now we have a Black President and most of the black men in America cant seem to comprehend how important that is to the next generation, This country might not ever elect another black president again, So this moment in history is important to everyone civil rights. Most black men continously fight and try to control another women who might be in the hands of another black man “Karma and Judgement” precedes their choices. When black men try to lure a white woman away from another black man, you must first ask yourself what is the man’s motive is it for Good or Evil and will your seed grow healthy or unhealthy. Black Women have had self esteem problems becuase they want to be first in a black man life and have been secondary, but they and many other impatient women are affecting that black man’s right to choose and is taking his civil rights away. Most black men sometime end up getting involved with, a white woman who was good at the beginning that developed bad habits along the way or can never forget the past, ” This is the see I told you so syndrome to interracial relationships”, that exposes a man to another way of thinking and sometimes takes him down the road to choosing someone else,and not hold on to his dreams, wants and desires, this can be brought on by pressures from family, friends or, or people who have dead lives. ” The reality, is its not true and never is true”. Karma. If a man told a woman that she could not have a child or seek to have control over her life, finances etc. That woman would be furious and feel there civil rights were being violated and taken away a woman’s right to choose. No one in this life knows who they will love or be spiritually connected with its about chances, it comes by chance, but everyone in this life know what they want and what they do not want. The world does not understand that, and never will, thats why many empires have been destroyed and relationships that could have worked didnot work because the, man and woman didnot have the strength to believe in themselves as one. Not one ruling the other, but equal treatment to what the other wants and desires to have in their lives. The one thing to remember if you are a beautiful white woman that receives alot of attention while your with your significant other. If you both agree, dont let anyone snake that from you or get confused over minor issues and if you both have the power to believe in each other no one else should interfere with your body that includes family and friends. Because everyone on this earth has the right to choose until death takes us all. And we all answer to what we choose on this earth as a sacrifice to life.
are people narrow minded when they say everyone is created equal? this brother is talking about black egyptain queens and shit. if we are so equal how come asian people have the higest iq how come blacks win the gold medals in sprinting how come whites always win the worlds strogest man competions ? these diffrences go on and on and on anyone who says every1 is crested equal needs to get there facts straigt
Why is it that every time I come on this site and read these comment’s some stupid, dumb “curesed” person has something stupid to say?! It never fail’s! White people obviously do not know their history! They are considered lost and confused people in my book. I don’t even understand why and how they became on top, Why did other race’s of people let them take over? I wish everyone that came saw them didn’t help them or have anything to do with them! That way they would have died off and noone would have had to deal with all the problems we have to go through now. They weren’t of any use to anyone when they started coming to other places. They had to learn and steal knowledge from other people. After they were done using people they found way’s to murder them and destroy them. People just were to kind hearted, I guess. They really should have never been messed up with them. And I feel It’s black people’s fault what happened to them! If they weren’t so agaisn’t each other none of the bad thing’s that happened by the hands of whites would have never happened! Noone should feel sorry for that but your selves your history didn’t have to go that way! Ya’ll came from african’s for heaven’s sake. Your ancestor’s were strong intelligent people. To this day yall still can’t come together! When some of yall come up instead of helping each other better there selves, you would rather keep them down and it just be a few on top. Then the black men and women don’t stay together, why is this? Do yall hate each other or what? And what really puzzles me (this being the last question) If slavery, all the death’s, fight’s seperation from your family, and oppression was so bad, Why didn’t that make ya’ll come together and try to be a stronger race? Ya’ll lack what every other race has ” The abillity to stick together”! Work on it and see how much you can accomplish!
I have a wonderful black man who loves his black woman!!!
Oh please. Not all white women who date outside are fat, trashy or skanky. And I have never had a one night stand or just “gave it up” before. I am beautiful, educated and I have dated outside my race before. Dominicas, Puerto Ricans, Blacks- and it was all garbage. They all either cheated, disapeared, were broke or had mad kids. It was the type of guy that I was attracted to- I grew up and find other qualities attractive now. I am settled now and content. There’s no need to go out and look when I have a good man who loves me. Life is too dam short for all this nonsense. Love is hard enough to find. I’ve gotten the dirty looks and they even tried to fight me before. He wasn’t even black- he was Dominican. And I am cute with a noce body so you know they hated my guts! Spanish girls liked me, but a lot of blacks didn’t. Oh well - nobody pays my bills.
Will you people please shut the fu*k up about hundreds of years ago and slavery. Every race had their share of racism and wars. Jews, Turkey, Greece, Ireland, Poland. Get over it. Chris Rock said it best. Black people need to stop making excuses for themselves. “Oh the white man is holding me down”! Chris Rock is one of the highest paid comedians. Please- and so what if black guys want some variety. I don’t find that many black women that attractive. White woman are classier and are more easy -going. Not all black guys use us and take our $. Latinas are the ones with 9 kids. They give birth every 3 months. They are the horniest race ofall. Mexican, Puerto Rican, Domincans,. They start at 13 and keep going. I’ve lived in neighborhoods full of them and it was crazy! Do any of them not have a dam baby carriage with them? It’s cool, just go on welfare.
I dont care who F**** who as long as your happy and from my experience white girlsare not easy going and i never met a pretty black girl in my life and one more thing its two thousand nine who cares who is wit who
the guy who replied to the disgruntled white women needs a foot up his ass. and i can give it to him in a heart beat. my on girlfreind in my life was a white women and she was not easy, weak, or any of that bull**** this guys talking about. it’a a shame black women are the most insecure women on earth.
Anonymous, you never met me! I’m black and pretty 5′4, 110lbs with peanut butter brown skin. I never had any body fat and white men loves me but I just don’t date them. This isn’t a pick-up line but I want everyone to know that not all black woman are mean or insecure. My soon to be black husband loved white women until he met me! Most white women are jealous of me because I am petite and unique. That’s right small frame, eat a lot, and never age. Yes, I must brag because the I don’t like when brothers put all black women in the same category.
That is the most dumb crap I ever heard! Black women arent attractive?! Now that has got to be a joke! I don’t know what the hell that person came from with that one! If it’s a man you just mad you can’t get with one and if it’s some white girl she”s just jealous! And don’t get mad at that man black royalty if he want’s to give black women their well deserved props! Every one wants to get mad when someone say’s something good about the black women! Long as the praise stays on the white women everything is all good! It’s such ashame! Most of the haters are just jealous! Black women don’t have to prove their selves desirable to anyone, it’s a fact that they are! So for everyone who try’s to put them down needs to really check there selves! And please for all the so called I’m - better -then- black women- women Stop getting lip, hip, butt, and braids! Let’s not try to copy something that you suppose to already be better then, and for so many years thought was ugly!
And by the way, they only thought it was ugly because they didn’t have it…… naturally!
The TRUTH is that black women date WHITE men as well. LOL
It’s just not advertised as much. Nobody’s crying. Black women date outside their race too. BLAH BLAH BLAH…lets not let the black man take all the crdit for dating outside their race…Times have changes yaaaay…not more slavery….
I don’t know where most of these people are from, I’ve been asked out by alot of black men ( before I was married) and they never said anything about a white women or any other race other then black. It’s alot of black men out here that love their women. And to be real with everyone black women are their women. Without black women there is no black man. The two need one another in more ways then a little bit. So stop trying to put the sista’s down! And it’s a shame that some of these so called black men ( if they are black, and not some racist bastard trying to perpertrate!) saying such low down things about their women. When you came from a black women. If your father thought of a sista the way you do you wouldnt even be here. And these white women really need to stop! you should kiss the black womens behind for giving you another black **** to ****!
hi you guys! i’m sticking with the topic; why do black men date white women ?it depends on the person and what he is looking for in a woman(period) . some black men choose white women because they listen, not argumentative, easier to get along with, overally there are attractive to them,but their are some black women who are the same as well. thats why i say it depends on the person . for example A black man probably had some bad past experiences with black women and find a white women to be more suitable for him. another example a black man might not look at race just utlimately attractive to a white woman as a person.. as most say they date white women because their easy. what ever their reason for being with a white woman good are bad that is their choice. i don’t like to see it personally only if its my man but everybody else it dosent matter. i caught my man with a white woman and it wasnt the fact that she was white . it was the fact that she was hot mess and that if he was to cheat on me why it couldn’t be with someone that atleast was worth comparing. so to all my beautiful black sistas dont turn your nose up at interracial couples . remember it’ s a man decesion. and if he dosen’t choose you to be with then he is not worthy of you anyway no matter what color he is. stay strong
Comment removed by Admin due to language. Please keep it clean and respectful.
omg! it is such a shame that ignorance is still alive or shall i say ignorant people. everybody has an opinion .. but lets be clear about one thing when it comes to an ignorant person no one and i mean no one takes you serious … ps to the admin its time to work your wonderful magic on the racist ^^
LIGHTEN UP– WE ARE EVERYWHERE..
my opinion: Done.
The reason why some black men are into white woman is Hollywood! Before Hollywood it was out of curiosity but now since there’s so many promotions for white women like let say most famous actresses are white, most famous top models are white, most porn stars are white & this I know I have been dating a black man for almost 2 yrs. & that’s it! He was hooked heavily on porn & knows all the porn stars by a heartbeat. I am not white or black but I am brown skin w/ mix heritage of black, white, asian & arabic, Im as exotic as it gets but yet my ex crave looking at white nude models & admits masturbating to them. It’s the greatest insult to me, & for all of you who only masturbates or only dates white women you have some problem, you are brainwashed by the silent racism implied in your head. We are all one, someday it’s not gonna be about the master race anymore…
We all need to put a stop to this whole ordeal. I’m a black man thats been with white women before and they treated me just as good as a black woman have. I’m the type of guy that like women of all different races and ethnicities. Just because you and that woman is the same race that does’nt mean that you all are for each other. I love black women hell I’m the product of a black woman. Its a shame that people will accept a gay couple over an interracial couple. Black men if you want to date outside of your race go right ahead and do it, we don’t owe the black woman anything, they don’t own us. Its your life and your god given right to be with who ever you want to be with. Black women say they are abandoned by black men when we date outside of our race, but we feel abandoned by black women when we get passed over for the convicted felons and thugs. People think white women are easy thats just a stereotype. Black women get dogged and used by their man everyday and most of them keep taking the guy back even when he made a baby with another woman (watch Maury). Black women claim to be these superwomen but they are some of the biggest push overs too.
I JUST DONT GET IT THIS BLACK MAN TODAY ARE SO WEAK MINDED ABOUT DATING WHITE WOMAN. THERE ARE HERE FOR ONE REASON TO DESTROY THE BLACK RACE. I AM TELL YOU WHY.BECAUSE THERE ARE JEALOUS OF OUR RACE.BECAUSE THEY TAN THEMSELVES AND ACTING BLACK.BLACK MEN WAKE UP BEFORE IT TOO LATE.
I am true black royalty and think universally.
I hear these brothers on here talking about white woman being easy sexually and easy to run over. You can find a lot of women like that from all races. Then there was a brother talking about his upstanding college education and how he likes his strong black women. Your upstanding education is of a white curriculum and your strong black woman perms her hair to be straight like a white woman and there is no limits to being a strong black man I am of all cultures and religions therefore I date and love who I see fit. I received my education from life and living around the world and seeing what this world has to offer. While you want to be, black guys run around in your suites and cars like the white man preaching blackness, I am a warrior for peace and justice and I don’t take any ignorant bullshit from anybody whether your gray or green. The devil comes in all shades and God works in mysterious ways.
As a brown man, cause I’m not black or African nor Afro American. I’m an American from Dark skinned Israelite descendants who was brought here as slaves who mixed with Native Americans and Pennsylvanian Dutch. The white that is in my blood came from the white dutch who were assisting on the underground railroad. As a brown man or what most understand as African American I was born in Germany and raised in Germany, Italy, and Korea. At 18 I move to D.C. metro area were I reside.
My beliefs come from the teachings of Islam, Buddha, Hindu, Judaism, Christianity, Catholicism and my Sensei taught me the art of Kenpo. I have learned in my travels and studies that there are many paths to the same destination.
I take the path that best suites me. There is no reason to bring material success into these type of conversations because only your mind and spirit truly feel its power.
I know people who live in a shack who are happily married then I know a lot of people who are what you call successful who aren’t happy.
Black men White women such a trivial subject when your dealing with science, history, God, and nature on a global scale. Interracial love and dating has been happening for a long time before the slaves of America even within ancient civilizations. To grasp these free universal concepts one must stop eating swine and processed foods to allow the mind and spirit out of shackles and learn to respect your fellow man, woman, child, and all other forms of life. Church and college by far does not hold all the answers so, you are the only one who can find the truth. You find it through experiences, life, friends, family and your environment.
I’m not trying to preach I’m just saying if you don’t free and expand your mind first you have No Business trying tackle deep controversial topics like Black Men and White Women and that topic is just one grain of sand on the beach of life.
Thank You and I wish you all the best of luck in this beautiful messed up world.
Peace
THE ANSWER!
You date whomever is available to you.
im 20…and i just want to say that its pathetic how people blame others of different races for the reasons as to why they cant get a man. im white but look ethnic (been thought of as spanish, italian, etc.). ive dated spanish and black men(haitian)….and i love it becuse its my preference. that doesnt mean im only going to date these men and shut out everyone else. as for the white women being “weak” and “easy” im sure as hell not any of those. i dont put up with anyones BS. In fact when dting my black ex….he was never possesive and in control of me I WAS IN CONTROL…he was respectful of me. if a black man ever tells you that he only dates white woman cuz they are submissive….then they are just covering there own asses cuz they dont wanna be looked down upon or judged by others…thy just making excuses so thy are not ridiculed or criticized. they are scared to admit the truth that they really love and appreciate white behind lol. black woman can be easy going and submissive too….just look at joe and katherine Jackson…..just watch the movie nd see how timid of a woman she was. my best friend who is black isnt loudmouthed or bitchy with an attitude…she is the sweetest girl ever. if you dont like people being racist or making racist remarks about your ethnicity….then you definetly have no place perpetuating that with similar words etc about them….it just makes you look just as bad and ignorant as them. EVERYONE JUST GET THE HELL ALONG ALREADY AND STOP BLAMING SOMEONES SKIN COLOR FOR YOUR DAMN PERSONAL PROBLEMS…..oh…and mixed babies are the beautifulest thing in the world.
oh…..and another thing….no women…especially a white woman….”stole” any black man away or are trying to purposely make it harder for a black woman to find a man….nobody put a gun to their head and forced them. if they dont wanna be with a certain woman, then they are not gonna be with that woman…thats their personal choice….they are not being coerced into an interracial relationship….either its their own preference or the fact that they dont like you personally….not because they are being brainwashed!!!!!! get over your hatred and ignorance people…learn to open your minds and hearts an try to become educated please so the world can relieve some of the mess that it is in.
oh….and Nikki on question number 28…..ur a jealous, rac*** ****….what happened….did your man leave you for a white chick?? is that why your taking your anger out on white females???? cuz you need to place the blame on somebody else rather than yourself????
Post a Comment