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I know I have been slacking on blogging lately; my apologies. However, since I am at work all day now, and I get a few 10 minute breaks here and there, I figured those 10 minutes had the potential to add up to some serious thought-provoking blogs. So, here is my first stab at it. Enjoy (and let me know what you think).

So I was in a conversation with an individual the other day talking about diets and such. We were discussing the various reasons why a rather overwhelming large amount of women in Washington State are overweight. And oh yes, a large amount of women in the fabulous pacific northwest are indeed overweight. It has long since been my opinion that women (and men for that matter, but I am really only concerned with women, so this article will refer primarily to them) are overweight because of two basic factor; they are lazy and have no incentive to be anything else.

Concerning lazy, I do not mean lazy in the sense that they have no ambition, have bad work ethics, or just like sitting on their ass cheeks watching a movie. I mean lazy in the sense that anything that is further away from them than their car is, is considered too far away to walk too, lazy in the sense that they will call someone else in the room to get the TV remote instead of getting up and pushing the buttons on the actual TV, or lazy in the sense that they will take 15 minutes to find a front row parking space instead of parking a few rows back, even though parking further away will get them in the building faster.

At least, that was my understanding of the general culture in the western portion of Washington State. In fact, I actually saw a commercial many moons ago that summed it up quite nicely in about 30 seconds. Some guy bought a brand new 'XX Toyota Something. Well, he walks outside, hops in his ride, gets all good feeling, busts a U-Turn and parallel parks it on the other side of the street, hops out, and runs in the store which he is now parked in front of. Now I know it seems a bit extreme (or just plain dumb), but I honestly could see some folks doing something of that nature. Why? Because people are inherently lazy (myself included on Tuesday and Wednesday).

In addition, since it seems like the majority of women are overweight in Washington, there is no competition forcing women to invest anytime into their appearance. The only ones who do are the ones who just enjoy going to the gym and doing extraneous activities. Given that, and the fact that men go after these overweight never visited a gym in their life type girls anyways because outside of traveling to another state or country they simply have no other option (you like that run-on sentence?), women have even less incentive to care what they look like. They know they will get a man regardless, so why bother putting any effort into getting one.

To add insult to injury, this standard has the unfortunate side effect of allowing the attractive women in Washington to have the worst possible attitudes with no consequences. Why? Because the guys they are with KNOW that they have one of about 14 of the few attractive women left in Washington, and therefore will do, and put up with, just about anything just so they can hold onto her. I hate that. I personally refer to these types of women as bougie, and attempt to stay as far away from them as possible. They are not hard to spot though. Go to anyplace, locate the one skinny woman with a pretty face (if there are any) who has her nose pointed at the sky and looks at any guy as if he is beneath her, and you have found yourself a bougie broad.

This horrible horror movie real-life scenario is highlighted if you take into consideration places like California and Florida. Down yonder, it is not uncommon to see attractive women everywhere. You can find them at work, at the gym, at the mall, at the jiffy lube place (personal experience), at the gas station (another personal experience), at the beach, and even in the grocery store (personal experience v3.0). The point of all that is this . . . in places like the above mentioned, there are a lot of attractive women in a lot of different places. This surplus of attractive women leads to two main things; good attitudes and motivation to stay attractive, the exact two things Washington is seriously lacking.

However, it appears that there may be another reason why folks in Washington are, umm, big-boned; they are happy! Yes, you heard it hear first, people in Washington are happy and that is making them fat. I know, I know, it just does not make any sense, right? Well, let me give you the explanation that I received.

When you go to places with attractive people, such as California or Florida, individuals are always in the gym, taking diet pills, getting plastic surgery, or just walking to and fro in an effort to keep their physical appearance in tip-top shape. Now most people's (myself included) initial thoughts are something in-line with “wow, people sure are active here.” Wrong, wrong! Apparently, the only reason they do all of these things mentioned above (plus some others which I will refrain from mentioning) is because they are unhappy. They are unhappy with their lives, how they perceive people perceiving them, and most importantly, how they perceive their own physical appearance.

So there you have it. Women in Washington are not lazy or taking advantage of the low standards, they are just happy with themselves. I guess it sounds like a reasonable idea. However, given that Washington has one of the highest suicide rates in the country, I might hold onto my skepticisms for just a little bit longer.